Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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