D3 body, D1 cock
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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