Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
