this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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