so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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