I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
