Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
my poor anus
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
