i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
