OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
