Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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