Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize