I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
