i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
