My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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