addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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