so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
