Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
