My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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