Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize