so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
