your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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