Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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