I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I lost the right to judge tonight
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
