the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
