I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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