Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
