Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
