Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
