she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You're like the curious george of whores
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
