We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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