He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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