oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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