I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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