all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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