The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
