If that was your dad, he is hot
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
