so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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