i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
