I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
