Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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