In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
