So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize