you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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