You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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