Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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