I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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