your parents love me but you hate me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
