elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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