The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
