Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Michael Bay diarrhea
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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