Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize