Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize