I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
