dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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