This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
