My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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