i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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