Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
