the day after is always just damage control
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
