If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I've blown a few things in my day
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
