i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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