walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you didnt know i had herpes?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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