lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
